Day 7

Knowing there’s going to be war tomorrow scares me, what if ‘m not ready, what if just freeze, what if I hit one of our own soldiers? All these things and more dashed through my head in an instant. There are so many outcomes and only a few are favorable, how the war ends could depend on me and that scares me. I wish I was as good as Juan or as Whistler, they don’t seem to be scared of anything, yet again they have had more experience than me at doing this. Looking back at all those days of training I wonder if it is enough to defeat an army of better equipped and trained loyalist I mean after all I’m just a kid, you can call me revolutionary, you can call me a soldier but the truth is underneath it all I’m just Uno a scared little kid. I honestly never thought if come to this I knew the minute I was taken by the revolutionary I would go to war, but I always pictured myself escaping before it began, I thought that by now I would be back at home with Concepcion, mom and the babies, I thought I would be running around or packing bananas with Lolo and Ignacio. But no now I’m to fight for the revolution and as frightened as I am I don’t think I have gone too far to give up. They you only have one chance in life to stand out, well my chance is about to come and whether I take it or not I know it was the right decision.

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